What if you had enough confidence to do the things that scare you or feel impossible to do?
Imagine conquering any challenge with unwavering self-assurance.
That’s the kind of confidence we all dream about, right?
But don’t feel bad if you lack that kind of confidence.
The exciting part is: confidence can be built.
Yes, you can develop beliefs in your abilities and propel yourself forward.
“The Confidence Code,” written by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, takes you on a journey to build extraordinary confidence.
Let’s begin this video and learn key insights from it.
Lesson 1: Try to bridge the Confidence Gap
Have you ever felt like no matter how good you are, it’s just not enough?
This feeling often stems from a confidence gap, where your abilities and your belief in those abilities don’t quite match up.
Women, in particular, face this issue frequently.
They often feel they need to be perfect before they can feel confident.
But here’s the kicker: you don’t need to be perfect to be confident.
You might be the best at your job, have all the qualifications, and still feel like an imposter.
This is because confidence isn’t just about competence.
It’s about believing in your ability to succeed despite imperfections.
Ever notice how some people seem to have a natural knack for projecting confidence, even when they’re not the most qualified?
That’s because they act confidently, and it convinces others of their capability.
Research shows that women generally underestimate their abilities compared to men.
In meetings, women often hold back their ideas, doubting their worth, while men might speak up even if they’re not entirely sure.
This isn’t because women are less capable.
It’s because they don’t always see their own value.
One striking example comes from the world of sports.
In women’s basketball, players like Monique Currie and Crystal Langhorne exhibit immense skill and physical prowess.
Yet, off the court, they admit to struggling with confidence, often comparing themselves to their male counterparts who seem to have boundless self-assurance.
This isn’t limited to sports.
In professional settings, many women hesitate to apply for jobs unless they meet all the criteria, whereas men apply when they meet just some of them.
This difference in approach can lead to missed opportunities and reinforces the confidence gap.
So, what’s the solution?
It starts with recognizing that perfection isn’t the goal.
Taking action, even when you don’t feel fully ready, is key.
Every time you step out of your comfort zone and succeed, your confidence grows a little more.
It’s about doing more and thinking less, trusting in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.
Lesson 2: Choose Action Over Analysis
Overthinking is a confidence killer.
When you overanalyze, you paralyze yourself with doubt.
Have you ever found yourself stuck, thinking about every possible outcome until you talk yourself out of doing something?
That’s the trap of overthinking.
Instead, the key to building confidence is taking action.
Action breaks the cycle of doubt because it forces you to move forward.
Think about a time when you just jumped into a task without second-guessing yourself.
Didn’t it feel liberating?
You might have felt a bit scared, but the momentum kept you going.
That’s the power of doing more and thinking less.
Studies show that confidence isn’t something you think your way into.
It’s something you build through action.
When you take action, even small steps, you create a track record of success.
This track record boosts your self-belief.
At the U.S. Naval Academy, female cadets often feel they need to prove themselves more than their male counterparts.
But those who take action and tackle challenges head-on, without overthinking, build a stronger sense of confidence.
They learn that they are just as capable, if not more so, than anyone else.
So, how can you apply this to your own life?
Start by setting small, achievable goals.
Instead of worrying about every detail, focus on taking the first step.
Each action you take builds momentum, and before you know it, your confidence grows.
Remember, it’s not about being fearless.
It’s about moving forward despite your fears.
When you do more and think less, you open yourself up to new possibilities and build a stronger, more resilient confidence.
Lesson 3: Biology Shapes Your Belief
Did you know that confidence has a biological component?
Some of us are naturally more confident because of our genetic makeup.
Researchers have found that certain traits, like fearlessness and social boldness, can be inherited.
But the good news is, your environment and experiences also play a big role in shaping your confidence.
Think about it like this: you might have a natural tendency towards caution, but if you put yourself in situations where you need to be bold, you can train your brain to be more confident.
It’s a bit like building a muscle.
The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
Studies on monkeys have shown us a lot about the biology of confidence.
Researchers have observed that monkeys who take more social risks tend to rise in their social hierarchy.
This isn’t so different from humans.
In our own lives, taking social and professional risks can boost our standing and our self-assurance.
Your brain is adaptable.
This concept, known as neuroplasticity, means that your brain can change and grow in response to new experiences.
So, if you practice confident behaviors, you can actually rewire your brain to be more confident.
One way to do this is by stepping outside your comfort zone.
When you challenge yourself and succeed, your brain releases dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical, which reinforces the behavior and makes you want to try again.
It’s a positive feedback loop.
The authors share an interesting story about their own experiences.
They noticed that many successful women, despite their achievements, still struggled with self-doubt.
But those who continually pushed themselves to take on new challenges, even when they were scared, managed to build lasting confidence.
It’s also important to surround yourself with supportive people.
Just like monkeys thrive in supportive social groups, we thrive when we have a network that encourages and believes in us.
Positive reinforcement from others can help solidify your own self-belief.
So, while your genetics play a role, remember that you have the power to shape your confidence through your actions and environment.
By consistently putting yourself in situations that challenge you and seeking support from others, you can build a robust sense of confidence that can withstand life’s ups and downs.
Lesson 4: Redefine Your Self-Worth
Labels like “dumb” or “ugly” can severely impact our confidence.
Society often places these harmful labels on women, which can undermine self-worth and self-belief.
Have you ever felt boxed in by a label someone else gave you?
It can feel like an anchor, dragging down your confidence.
But confidence isn’t about what others think of you; it’s about how you see yourself.
Research shows that negative stereotypes can significantly impact performance.
In one study, when women were reminded of the stereotype that women are bad at math before taking a math test, they performed worse than when they weren’t reminded.
This phenomenon, known as stereotype threat, shows how powerful labels can be.
The good news is, you can break free from these labels.
Start by questioning the negative labels you’ve internalized.
Ask yourself, “Is this really true?”
Often, these labels are based on outdated or incorrect assumptions.
Next, replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations.
Instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,” try saying, “I am capable and strong.”
It might feel strange at first, but over time, these positive affirmations can help rewire your brain and boost your confidence.
Surround yourself with people who see your true potential and encourage you to break free from limiting labels.
Supportive friends, mentors, and colleagues can help you see yourself in a more positive light.
Remember, the only labels that truly matter are the ones you give yourself.
When you reject negative labels and embrace your true worth, your confidence will soar.
It’s about believing in your own value and not letting anyone else define you.
Lesson 5: Become a confident role-model to raise Confident Kids
Confidence isn’t just for adults.
Kids can also develop self-assurance with the right kind of nurturing.
How we praise and encourage kids can make a huge difference in their confidence levels.
Instead of focusing on innate talent, it’s crucial to praise their effort and resilience.
Think about a time when a child you know accomplished something difficult.
Did you say, “You’re so smart,” or did you say, “You worked really hard on that”?
The latter helps kids understand that effort leads to success.
It teaches them that struggle is part of learning and that failure is just a stepping stone to success.
Parents and teachers play a significant role in developing a child’s growth mindset.
When children are encouraged to try new things and not fear failure, they become more confident in their abilities.
It’s about creating an environment where effort is valued over innate ability.
Imagine a classroom where students are taught to see mistakes as opportunities to learn.
This kind of environment helps children understand that everyone struggles and that persistence leads to improvement.
When kids see that effort is more important than immediate success, they become more resilient and confident.
Encouraging kids to set their own goals is also essential.
When children set and achieve their own goals, no matter how small, they experience a sense of accomplishment that boosts their confidence.
It’s about letting them take ownership of their success.
As kids grow, they should be exposed to a variety of activities.
This not only helps them discover their interests but also teaches them to handle new and unfamiliar situations confidently.
The more they experience, the more they learn that they can handle different challenges.
Finally, role models play a crucial role.
When kids see confident role models, they learn what confidence looks like and how to emulate it.
This can be parents, teachers, or even characters in books and movies.
Building confidence in kids is about teaching them that they are capable and that effort leads to success.
When we nurture their resilience and encourage them to embrace challenges, we help them develop a robust sense of confidence that will serve them throughout their lives.
Lesson 6: Fail fast to move forward quickly.
Failure is often seen as the enemy of success, but what if it’s actually a friend?
Embracing failure is crucial for building confidence.
The idea is to “fail fast” – to try new things, learn quickly from your mistakes, and move forward.
When you embrace failure as a natural part of the process, you build resilience and confidence.
Think about a time when you failed at something.
Initially, it might have felt discouraging, but what happened after you got past that feeling?
You probably learned something valuable that helped you succeed later.
That’s the power of failing fast.
Researchers have found that people who take risks and fail often end up being more successful because they learn and adapt.
This is especially true in environments that encourage experimentation and view failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback.
Consider the tech industry, where “failing fast” is a common mantra.
Innovative companies encourage employees to try new ideas, even if they might fail.
This culture of experimentation leads to rapid learning and development, fostering a confident and adaptable workforce.
So, how can you apply this to your own life?
Start by reframing your view of failure.
Instead of seeing it as a negative outcome, see it as a learning experience.
Every failure teaches you something valuable that you can use in the future.
When you take risks and face challenges head-on, you become more comfortable with the idea of failure.
Over time, this builds your confidence and resilience.
It’s also helpful to share your failures with others.
Talking about your mistakes can be therapeutic and can help you gain new perspectives.
Plus, you’ll often find that others have experienced similar setbacks, which can be reassuring.
Remember, even the most successful people have faced failures.
What sets them apart is their ability to learn from those failures and keep moving forward.
Each failure brings you one step closer to success and builds a foundation of confidence that can withstand any challenge.
Lesson 7: Confidence is contagious.
When you exude self-assurance, you inspire those around you to do the same.
Think about someone in your life who is confident.
Their energy likely boosts your own confidence, right?
This ripple effect of confidence is powerful.
By sharing your journey, struggles, and successes, you can help others build their confidence too.
It’s about creating a supportive environment where everyone feels empowered to believe in themselves.
Take the story of the authors themselves.
They found that by discussing their own confidence challenges openly, they encouraged other women to share their experiences and support one another.
This created a network of women lifting each other up, fostering collective confidence.
In professional settings, confident leaders inspire their teams to take risks and innovate.
When leaders show that they trust their own abilities, it gives their team members the courage to trust theirs.
It’s a positive feedback loop that can transform an entire organization.
Mentorship is a key part of passing on confidence.
When you mentor someone, you’re not just sharing your knowledge and experience.
You’re also instilling in them the belief that they can succeed.
Good mentors listen, encourage, and challenge their mentees to step out of their comfort zones.
Consider how you can be a mentor in your own life.
Whether it’s at work, in your community, or with friends and family, look for opportunities to support and uplift others.
Share your stories of overcoming self-doubt and taking bold steps.
Your experiences can be a source of inspiration for someone else.
Building a culture of confidence starts with small actions.
Celebrate the successes of those around you, no matter how small.
Offer genuine compliments and recognize efforts.
These simple gestures can have a big impact on someone’s confidence.
It’s also important to model vulnerability.
Show that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
When others see that even confident people have moments of doubt, it normalizes the experience and makes them feel less alone in their struggles.
This collective confidence can lead to greater innovation, creativity, and success.
So, as you build your own confidence, remember to pass it on.
Help others see their potential and encourage them to believe in themselves.
Together, we can create a ripple effect of confidence that makes a lasting impact.
Conclusion
Throughout this video, we’ve explored various aspects of building and nurturing confidence, from understanding its biological roots to practicing it daily.
Confidence is not something you either have or don’t have; it’s something you build, step by step.
Being confident doesn’t mean you have all the answers; it means you’re secure enough to admit when you don’t and seek help when needed.
Your confidence journey is unique.
Find what works for you and embrace it.
