How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less (Book Summary)

Bullet Summary: How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less

• Try to make meaningful connections with new people
• Make a good first impression when meeting new people
• Find common ground with the person you’re talking to
• Sync yourself with the person in front of you
• Listen attentively to the person in front of you
• Maintain the right attitude during conversation
• Make sure your thoughts are clear before communicating with others
• Practice asking open-ended questions
• Focus on improving your observation skills
• Take an interest in the other person’s conversation

How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less Summary (Detailed)

What if you could impress anyone you talk to in just 90 seconds?

Well, you already know that’s possible.

It’ll make finding a partner easier for you.

You’ll start getting new opportunities in business.

And so much more…

So, watch this video carefully until the end.

Now, let’s get started without any delay.

Lesson #1: Create new meaningful connections

In today’s fast-paced life, everyone is busy chasing success or career.

We can say that career is important, but the problem arises when we start giving less importance to our relationships.

People didn’t have so many mental issues earlier, and one of the reasons behind it was that they used to value their community.

But nowadays, people think that they should only focus on their work and build connections only when required.

This is a completely wrong approach.

The situation is so bad that we think ten times before talking to someone we don’t know. We think that everyone we don’t know is our enemy. And those whom we already know, we think they are our friends. But that’s not always the case.

There are many amazing people in the world who can become your good friends even if they are not in your inner circle.

But we tend to isolate ourselves before making new connections.

No matter how much success we achieve or how much money we make, there will be very few people who will feel satisfied by being alone.

It doesn’t mean that we should never spend time alone. That is also necessary. But at the same time, we should go outside the comfort zone and meet new people.

Humans are social animals, and we have a natural desire to socialize and make friends.

Now, socializing doesn’t mean partying with friends or going to watch a movie. These things are fine once in a while.

But the real meaning of socializing is to meet new people, try new things, and not just spend time with the same old friends.

Socializing may be uncomfortable, but if you become comfortable with it, try something else.

Making connections can help you in survival, and the more you socialize, the more you understand human behavior. And if you are not afraid of meeting new people, you naturally become confident, and people get impressed by you.

Lesson #2: Try to make a good first impression whenever you meet a new person

You must have heard that you should never judge a book by its cover.

But when you meet someone for the first time, the person judges you by your first impression.

And often, the person forms an opinion about you within a few seconds of meeting you.

The person will decide whether to trust you or not based on your first impression.

It doesn’t mean that the first impression is everything. And if you can make a good first impression, then there won’t be any issues ahead.

But if you make a good first impression, your work becomes a little easier, and it is easier to develop a connection.

If you look safe, positive, and trustworthy, people will want to connect with you.

Now, the question is, how can you make a good first impression?

First of all, your physical appearance matters.

Make sure you look presentable. You don’t have to be too fancy; that’s optional.

And try to keep your posture relaxed and straight.

When you talk, keep a natural smile on your face.

Maintain eye contact.

The other person feels that you are paying attention to them and focused on listening to them.

But eye contact doesn’t mean staring.

Don’t keep staring at the other person continuously.

If you know the other person’s name, use it 2-3 times in between.

Because everyone likes to hear their name from others.

There are many other things you can do, but if you do these basic things, you will create a good impression in the other person’s mind.

Lesson #3: Find a common ground by searching for similar interests when you meet a new person

Have you ever noticed that when we talk to our friends, we can talk for hours?

But when we talk to someone new, it becomes difficult to talk.

Our mind goes blank.

We don’t know what to say.

We feel scared that we might say something that might offend the other person.

I guess everyone faces this problem.

So, when you talk to a new person, after introducing yourself, you should try to find some common interests between you and the other person.

This way, you both have some topics to talk about.

As the conversation progresses, both persons become emotionally connected.

It means they become comfortable.

And the awkwardness that was there at the beginning reduces.

You don’t have to brainstorm ideas to continue the conversation.

Just find a common topic and ask open-ended questions.

For example, if the other person says that he held a party yesterday…

you can make multiple questions from this.

Just make sure your question is open-ended.

If you ask, “What kind of party was it?” then the other person can answer it in one or two words.

But if you ask, “What did you enjoy the most during the party?” then this sentence triggers a positive feeling in the other person’s mind.

And we all like to hear stories.

Did you understand?

Ask such questions that cannot be answered in one word.

You’ll have to practice to know which questions to ask.

As your listening and observation skills improve, you will notice that your communication skills are also improving.

Lesson #4: Sync yourself with the person in front of you.

This is a slightly advanced technique.

In simple words, it is also called “mirroring.”

Many people misuse it and end up suffering the consequences.

But if you learn to use it correctly, it can greatly help you in building connections.

When mirroring, you subtly imitate the emotions and behavior of the person in front of you.

This makes them start liking you in their mind.

This happens because we naturally prefer things that are familiar to us.

And the person in front of you feels like, “This person is just like me.”

However, it’s important not to overuse it.

Otherwise, people may think you are trying to manipulate them by copying them.

Observe the mood of the person in front of you.

If the person is speaking slowly and nervously, lower your voice slightly when you speak.

This will help the person relate to you better.

If the person is laughing and speaking cheerfully, try to match their energy.

Remember, you don’t have to copy them exactly. Use this technique in a subtle manner.

If you do it too much, it won’t be beneficial.

To use this technique effectively, you should be good at observation.

If you don’t learn to observe, you will definitely make mistakes while using this technique.

Lesson #5: Listen attentively to the person in front of you.

It’s possible that you may be perfectly following all the discussed strategies so far and still not impressing the person in front of you.

Many people, knowingly or unknowingly, make a major mistake while conversing, and they are completely unaware of it.

They don’t listen properly.

Many people will focus all their attention on following tricks and strategies.

But the most important role in communication is “listening.”

Everyone listens, to some extent.

But very few people truly listen attentively.

It means that if the person in front of you feels that you are not paying attention to what they are saying, then it won’t matter if you have used any strategies; it won’t make a difference.

There are several benefits to listening attentively.

You don’t need to brainstorm ideas to continue the conversation.

Just listen to what the person is saying.

And then ask them open-ended questions.

For example, if they say that they threw a party yesterday…

You can create multiple questions from that statement.

Just make sure your question is open-ended.

If you ask, “What kind of party was it?” They will simply answer in one or two words.

But if you ask, “What was the most fun part of the party?” This sentence will trigger a positive feeling in their mind.

Besides, we all enjoy hearing stories, don’t we?

Do you understand?

Ask questions that require more than a one-word answer.

You can do all of this effectively only when you genuinely take an interest in the other person’s conversation and listen attentively.

Make sure that during the conversation, you’re not the only one speaking continuously. Both of you should contribute when talking.

Give the person in front of you a chance to speak as well.

As for which questions to ask, there is no shortcut for that. It will come with practice.

As your listening and observation skills improve, you will gradually notice that your communication skills are also getting better.

Lesson #6: Maintain the right attitude.

Whenever we are talking to someone, we consciously communicate a lot through our body language as well.

If your attitude is not right, your words won’t be as effective.

For example, if your body language shows that you are tired and completely depressed, and you’re talking about motivation, it will create a bad impression.

Both your words and your body language should be in sync.

How you say something is just as important as what you say.

If your attitude is that of a curious and helpful person, people will enjoy talking to you.

But if people feel bored and negative after talking to you, they will avoid having a conversation with you for long.

However, it’s also a reality that no matter what you do, not everyone will be impressed with you.

Just remember that you often speak a lot without saying anything.

When you open your mouth and say something, people start forming opinions about you based on your body language even before that.

So, pay a little attention to your body language when talking to anyone.

Lesson #7: The clearer your thoughts are, the more effectively you can communicate.

We have learned that our attitude should be right.

But do you know what the right meaning of attitude is?

Attitude doesn’t mean being rude.

Attitude means how you think, how you feel, and how you behave with yourself and others.

So, if you want to correct your attitude, you first need to correct your thought process.

It won’t be that your thoughts are of low quality and your behavior is great with everyone.

You don’t need to create a fake personality.

You need to correct yourself from within so that you can be genuinely right on the outside.

And the importance of attitude is not just about impressing people.

It means that if your attitude is right, you will grow in every aspect of your life.

Grab your Copy Now!

Last update on 2023-07-17 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon

A book summary can never replace the book.

Buy the book and understand the concepts properly.

You can buy the book in your preferable format below.

Get the Audiobook: Listen free with Audible Trial

Get the Hardcover version: View price on Amazon

Get the Paperback version: View price on Amazon

Now It’s Your Turn

I hope you have learned a lot from this book summary.

Now you tell me:

What are your best takeaways from this book summary?

Do you have some feedback?

You can contact me anytime and let me know.

Spread the wisdom:

If you liked this, don’t hesitate to share it with your friends and family members.

Thanks for reading.