Everyone Communicates Few Connect by John Maxwell (Summary & Review)

About the author

John C. Maxwell is an internationally renowned leadership expert, speaker, and author who has written many books on the subject.

He was named the #1 leader in business by the American Management Association and the most influential leadership expert in the world by Business Insider and Inc. magazine.

He has written over 70 books on leadership, including the global bestsellers The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.

Furthermore, he is the founder of EQUIP, a non-profit organization that has trained over 5 million leaders in 126 countries worldwide.

Everyone Communicates Few Connect Summary

This book summary attempts to answer some of the following questions:

• What are the necessary steps for becoming a better communicator?
• Why is it important to understand the perspective of the person you’re communicating with?
• How can I become a credible speaker?
• What are the tips for creating memorable experiences?

If you are someone who wants to communicate ideas effectively in any scenario, this is for you.

In this book summary, I’ll share 5 best learnings that will answer the above questions.

So without further ado, let’s dive right in.

Lesson #1: Communication is an essential life skill that impacts every aspect of life.

We communicate daily, for work, relationships, and personal growth.

It’s important to hone this skill over time, as it can have a major impact on how successful we are in many aspects of life.

Having strong communication skills can open doors and help you achieve your goals.

People often assume that great leaders who give outstanding speeches are some kind of genius.

However, this is not the case.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re naturally gifted or not; you can still give a remarkable speech and connect with your audience.

Communication is like mathematics, the more you practice it, the better you get.

You can study communication just like any other subject.

It’s not some magical science available to a selected few.

It’s not luck that will make you a better communicator; practice and dedication are key.

Watch this video by the author himself and see how he struggled communicating in the initial days.

He was self-centered and expected his listeners to comprehend him.

He was just like you.

The difference?

He studied communication and noticed how excellent speakers delivered their speeches.

He observed their body language, style, and attire, rather than simply being impressed by them.

Imagine how mastering communication can take you to the next level.

Be it your personal or professional life, communication is always happening one way or the another.

Even if you sit silently just by yourself, communication is always happening.

Don’t assume that communication skills will improve over time; study it.

My suggestion is that you read more books that teach effective communication and leadership.

Lesson #2: It’s about people, not about the speaker.

Everybody wants praise and acknowledgment by the people.

Sure, leaders and speakers get many claps and cheers when they deliver their words, it’s a nice feeling.

Many people desire the same.

But why should people listen to you?

What’s in it for them?

Why some speakers sound boring while others make the audience resonate with them?

What’s that one quality that turn listeners into fans?

One word answer: Value.

Yes, it’s the value that turn strangers into followers, and followers into fans.

The very first question a speaker must ask himself is: “What value I can provide?”

Will you entertain them?

Will you educate them?

Will you solve their problem?

Amateur speakers often make the mistake of focusing too much on themselves.

For instance, they become overly concerned with how they are viewed by others.

They worry too much about how they look.

They also expect appreciation, and if they don’t receive it, they assume the audience is not worthy.

Furthermore, they start comparing themselves with other speakers.

In other words, they make it more about themselves.

They forget this simple fact that audience comes first, and the speakers comes second.

They sometimes totally forget that they have to build connection with their audience instead of boring them with their personal agenda.

Let’s try to understand what occurs in the mind of a listener when we communicate.

Nobody wants to waste time.

Subconsciously, people are always silently thinking:

• “Will the speaker help me?”
• “Can I trust the speaker?”

Great speakers know this as a fact.

That’s why they strive to deliver as much value as they can while communicating.

A great speaker focuses on the problems their audience wants to solve, foregoing his own interests. This helps him build a strong connection.

Lesson #3: Your words mean differently to different people.

Have you ever wondered why students score different marks despite being taught by the same teacher and given the same set of questions?

This is because different people interpret the same words differently. It is due to a variety of factors, such as cultural and personal backgrounds.

For example, a word that one person might find uplifting could be seen as offensive by another person. It’s important to be aware of this when communicating with others.

It’s also important to be aware that our own experiences shape how we interpret the words of others.

We may think that our words are being interpreted the same way by everyone, but in reality, our words are often interpreted differently depending on the listener.

The best way to ensure that your words are being understood is to be clear, concise, and respectful when speaking.

Pay attention to your body language, and make sure that your words are consistent with your overall message.

Always be willing to accept feedback from others and adjust your communication style if needed.

The takeaway here is:

While communicating with an audience, understand that not all people will get your message right every time.

To effectively explain your ideas, you’ll need to use plenty of examples and illustrations.

This will help you become a better communicator and ensure that your words are being interpreted the way you intend them to be.

Otherwise, the connection between you and your audience will be lost.

Connection remains as long as people perceive a benefit.

You may be astonished to learn that your perceived credibility is a key factor in how well your message is received.

Wondering how?

Let’s discuss.

Lesson #4: Become credible enough so that people take you seriously and listen to you.

Credibility plays an important role.

Now you might think, “How come an average person like me build credibility, it’d take years to gain a certain level of acceptance?”

Well, here is the good news: You don’t need to be a world-renowned athlete like Messi or Ronaldo to be heard.

The trick is: You can borrow credibility from others.

Appear with people who are more credible than you.

And soon people will start seeing you as a credible person.

But here is an important thing that people get wrong: Credibility won’t last if you don’t have skills to back it up.

Let’s say you are a budding science-fiction author, and you start attending conferences about science, then chances are some people will notice you.

A few people will be happy to give your book a chance.

But if you write a silly book, and you hardly know anything about science, it won’t be very long before people will understand your game.

Although borrowing credibility seems like an easy trick, it’s not.

You can’t take shortcuts to earn respect and admiration from other people.

It takes times and sacrifice.

Ask questions like:

• “Have I done something great in my life that other people would strive to achieve?”
• “What are my core skills?”
• “Can I really call myself an expert or a professional in the field that I’ll teach others about?”

If the answer is no, you should spend more time learning, before you start giving lectures.

And if the answer is yes, congrats, you must start giving speeches so that others can benefit from your knowledge or expertise.

People have plenty of problems they want to solve.

If you have the solution, and you prove that you are worth listening, some people would love to give you a chance, and listen to what you have to say.

Wondering why this much effort is needed to make people listen to anything?

This is because listening is hard work.

It is not only difficult, but also requires time and patience from the listener.

People have developed mental filters over time to save time and energy, becoming highly selective.

Credibility is just one of those filters.

Lesson #5: Don’t try to make others think like you first. Instead, try to understand their perspective.

When you become an expert at something, you tend to forget what it was like when you were a beginner.

Becoming an expert on anything creates a knowledge gap between the expert and any other common person who is not expert in that particular topic.

Most amateur speakers naturally see things from their point of view.

They assume that if they understand something, their audience will understand it too.

But in reality, people want to learn from people they can relate or connect with.

When you speak about anything, attempt to gauge the level of your audience.

Think about the doubts you would have if you were an absolute beginner.

In other words, try to find a common ground.

Just think what happens when you talk to a stranger.

For the communication to carry on, there must be a common ground, right?

This means understanding the perspective of the person you’re communicating with and finding something that you can both relate to.

It could be a shared experience, a shared interest, or even a shared goal.

Once you’ve established a common ground, you can start to build a connection and communicate more effectively.

You have to get to their level and try to understand them.

The author suggests that you keep things simple.

Try to create an experience that they might enjoy so that they feel comfortable with you.

You can also try to inspire them once you built the connection by coming on a common ground.

In school, we were taught by plenty of teachers, but we remember only a few of them, right?

We don’t remember teachers who have great expertise in their topic, we remember teachers who teach well and create memorable experiences.

Be like that best teacher of yours.

Avoid making your audience uncomfortable in the beginning by challenging their concepts and worldview, unless you have built enough admiration and respect.

Once you have established a connection, you can slowly challenge their beliefs respectfully.

This will help them to understand your perspective and ultimately create a stronger connection.

Bullet Summary: Everyone Communicates Few Connect

Here is the short version of what we discussed so far:

• Communication is an essential life skill that impacts every aspect of life, and it is important to hone this skill over time.
• Great leaders who give outstanding speeches are not necessarily geniuses, and communication is like mathematics – the more you practice it, the better you get.
• It is important to focus on providing value to the audience, as people are always silently thinking about how a speaker can help them.
• Different people interpret the same words differently, so it is important to be clear, concise, and respectful when speaking.
• Credibility is also important, and it can be borrowed from others, but it is important to have the skills to back it up.
• Create memorable experiences so that your audience remember you even after the speech has ended.

Everyone Communicates Few Connect Review

Last update on 2024-01-07 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon

Pros

• Easy to implement in real life.
• Great short stories and examples.
• The book is simple, as the author doesn’t complicate the concepts.

Cons

• Repetitive at times.
• A little too basic and not according to modern times.
• Suitable mostly for speakers.

Organization of the Book

The book is in two parts.

The first part discusses “connecting principles,” while the second part discusses “connecting practices.”

There are 10 chapters in total along with the conclusion.

Who should read this book?

• This book is suitable for anyone who wants to strengthen their communication skills, whether they are already experienced in public speaking or just starting out.
• It is also ideal for those who aim to understand the principles behind successful communication and how to apply them in different situations.
• It is a great resource for those who would like to learn how to build rapport with their audiences and create memorable experiences.

buy The Book

You can buy the book “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect” by John C. Maxwell in your preferable format by following the links below:

Get the Audiobook: Buy on Audible | Play free on Audiobooks.com

Get the digital version: Kindle | Audio CD

Get the physical copy: Hardcover | Paperback

More by the author

If you enjoyed this book’s summary, you may also enjoy the summaries of other books by the same author.

Check out some of them below:

• The 360 Degree Leadership (Book Summary)
• Developing The Leader Within You (Book Summary)
• The 15 Invaluable Laws Of Growth (Book Summary)

Now it’s your turn

Now it’s your turn to put your communication skills to the test. It’s time to take a risk, build your confidence and make a connection with the people around you.

Start by reading books and articles on communication and leadership. Then practice your skills in different situations, such as with friends or colleagues.

Try to be aware of your body language, and if you can, record yourself speaking and review it with a critical eye.

Most importantly, always remember that “communication is not just about talking, it’s about connecting,” as John Maxwell, the author of this book, says.

With dedication and practice, you will be able to become a great communicator.

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